Farewell to China

Friday morning we will bid farewell to China.  We are currently riding in a van from Guangzhou to Hong Kong.  We will spend the night in Hong Kong and catch a flight to DC (via Japan) in the morning.  Four of us are ready to get back to the familiar, one of us is excited about the new, apprehensive about the change, and sad about leaving her home.  Lily was quite sad last night and we had our guide stop by and help us communicate more deeply with her.  With the guide's help we were able to hear Lily tell us that she was sad about leaving her teachers and friends.  She had seen other children leave the orphanage and never saw them again.  We talked about ways she can communicate with her teacher through email.  We talked about her friend, Shen Shen, and how we will be able to see her since she will be living in the same city as Lily.  We told her that we are a family, that Lily was an important part of this family, and that we loved her very much.  We told her that it is OK to cry, and that she can tell us when she is sad.  We told her that we understood how frustrating it must be for her to have to learn English in order to communicate with her new family.  We told her that we would help her learn English, and she could help us learn Mandarin.  She asked our guide to tell us that she does not like it totally dark at night, it scares her.  We talked to her about her room and the little night light that was already in place.  Satisfied that she had got all her concerns on the table, she fell asleep.

Today we walked over to the park and Drew and Christian played a game of ping pong.  This was a bit of a sight for the locals to see these blonde white boys in shorts (at 70 degrees it is winter to the locals) playing their game.

Drew went over to one of the on-lookers and asked him for a game.  He laughed and  pointed to his wife (as if to say,"Son, first you need to beat her, then you can play me.")  The lady accepted the challenge and schooled Drew.

We ran into Shen Shen and her parents on the way to the park and invited them to join us.  This gave Lily and Shen Shen one last time to play in together in China.  Here they are holding hands as they walk through the park.

We end the trip with four girls lives being forever changed.  These four (Lily, Rae, Alexis, and Mia) were the purpose of our trip.  They were our expectation in Beijing, our excitement in our various adoption cities, and our dance in Guangzhou.

These four families (Dear's, Richardsons, Wilson's and Brandt's) are forever blessed.  We all have a lot of challenges ahead of us.  We are excited (and a little scared) about those challenges.  We greatly appreciate your prayers for all of these families and each of these girls as we adapt to one another.  A common term in the adoption lingo is "forever family."  That is what each of these girls received when they were adopted.  For those of us in Christ, the "forever family" has a greater meaning.  These four families are also praying that one day, these four little girls will accept Christ and be welcomed into the "eternal forever family."

A quick update

The last few days have been consumed with appointments and down time. The appointments have been medical checks, paperwork processing, and today off to the US consulate for Lily's visa.
In the down time we have enjoyed being able to introduce Lily to family members via Skype. If she is calm enough she will sit in front of the computer, wave and say hi to whoever is on the other end. She loves saying Peter's name. She often tells us and others that she has five brothers, and then she runs down their names -- "kistchen, dooow, eeeter, qinn, adam" is how it comes out.
We have spent time in the local parks, the zoo, shopping, and finding new and interesting things to eat. I have attached some pictures of some of these activities. One of the zoo pictures incudes Lily's friend Shen Shen. This is the girl that was at the same orphanage as Lily and will be living in Washington DC.

The Attachment Dance

The papers are signed, Lily is now a Brandt forever, and the dance has begun.  The night before last closed with a much loved bubble bath.  Lily had a blast creating punk hair styles and bubble beards and mtioned for me to take photos of her creativity.  The more I laughed, the more animated she became.  We picked out clothes for the next day and I drew out a picture of an airplane along a dotted line from her city to Guongzhou and she gasped with excitement! We smuggled into bed with anticipation and awoke piling on backpacks immediately after dressing.  Unfortunately the flight wasn't until 7pm so there was a lot of time to kill.  We tried to keep busy but it was a rather long day.  Later that afternoon our family and the Richards family boarded the van and began the trek out of Xi'an and across the countryside to the airport.  While traveling Lily became increasingly quiet and to herself, pressing her face against the glass in the van and not wanting to interact with anyone.  She knew all to well what was happening.  She was about to leave her part of China forever.  It was as if a huge wall went up between us and Lily, and we were under no uncertain terms allowed to enter in to her grief.  No hands were reached for.  No eye contact was made. Tears were hidden and tissues refused.  The physical distance between us and Lily kept increasing to the point where Jim and I were a little concerned that this child might just decide to bolt once in the airport. Giving her her manditory space we tried to keep within the 5 foot bubble that surrounded her and waited for any signs of desiring to reconnect.  This went on for about two hours or so until we had to get in line to board.  It was painful to watch her shut down and shut out any consolations.  It was difficult to say whether we were being punished or just isolated.  She's so smart and I can't even imagine what it would be to like to leave all that is familiar and secure to a future completely unknown  and at the complete mercy of a family you just met only a short time ago.

Like a switch that was flipped on the bridge to the plane, the bubble burst, the wall went down, and I was asked to dance with my little sprite. The plane ride and day ended in Guangzhou with lots of shared moments together and Lily drank it all in.

Today began pulling a very tired and stubborn Lily out of bed to dress for breakfast and an early morning medical exam.  We were escorted to a photo shop that was a tourist trap in disguise (much like the stores fashioned at the end of roller coaster rides in our theme parks).  Lily wanted a baby rattle in a basket by the window and when I said "no," the wall went up again.  It lasted through the remainder of the morning for me and Jim took over keeping her from getting lost in the shuffle of adoptive families as we were coralled through the medical exam.  She was tough as nails during the TB shot, refusing consolations of candy and giving away her toys that she had received from the nurses to her little friend Shen Shen.  She kept several paces in front of us as often as she could and looked as though she would take the world on if it gave her one lick of trouble.

We came back to the hotel.  Mommy was exhausted and needed a power nap (fighting a cold) so "Babie" (Lily's word for Jim), Drew, and Christian, went on a mission to wear this girl out in the park across the street.  Before going, Lily, in her own sweet way asked if Mommy was coming and as I snuggled down to show I needed a nap, her face came into mine and we kissed and said good-bye.  For the rest of the day we were dancing again, through little games of hide and seek, tickling, walking hand in hand, jumping on the .bed, sharing a first Starbucks, and another bubble bath. It was delightful. :)

Soldiers and Dumplings for protection

The adoption process involves a lot of interactions with government offices. These interactions are necessary to finalize the adoption, secure copies of her birth certificate, adoptions certificate, obtain passports (for Lily), visa's, etc. It is a typical hurry up and wait process. All the paperwork from Monday and Tuesday is being processed so that we can pick up the completed documents on Thursday and Friday. That left us with some down time for sight seeing.

Wednesday was our first down day and we used it to sleep in and catch up from the pace we have been running. Christian was sick with a 24 hour bug. It was raining outside. So we spent most of that day in the hotel. We got to Skype with Peter, Rachael, Adam and Quinn so Lily got to see the other half of the family. She said "Hi, Peter", "Hi, Rachael", ... right on down the line. She had a family picture that we had sent to her about a month ago. It looks like she has study that photo to death. When we first met she pulled out that photo and wanted us to go around the picture telling her who each person was.

By Thursday morning Christian was feeling much better. We headed a small town 30 miles away that is home to the excavation of the Terra Cotta soldiers. These soldiers surround a large mound that serves as the tomb to Emporer Qin. The soldiers were about a mile from the tomb and were created to protect Qin and his family in the afterlife.

To date they have unearthed about 8000 of these soldiers. It was amazing to see. They were found in the early 1970's by some farmers digging a well. Today the fields are covered by a building that allows them to continue the excavation protected from the elements.

In the early 70's all the land was owned by the government, so the farmer's discovery was not the financial jackpot you might expect. To compensate the farmers, they (there are four of them) take turns sitting in the gift shop and if you buy a picture book of the Terra Cotta soldiers, they will sign it. Ruthi had Lily stand by the farmer and snapped their picture. The farmer then held out his had to Ruthi and asked for 20 yuan ($3).

We heard about a restaurant in X'ian that specialized in dumplings. Our guide said that we would need reservations because tonight is the first day of winter. She explained the chinese tradition of eating dumplings on the first day of winter. The dumpling looks like a ear, and so if you eat dumplings on the firts day of winter it will protect you from sickness (ear aches I guess) through the winter. For this reason the restaurant would be very crowded. We were game so she made the reservation, gave us directions to the restaurant, and wrote a note in Chinese that detailed our intended food order. I felt a bit like the 1st grader with a note for teacher. The food was great. At least 20 different varieties of dumplings (pumpkin, tomato, chicken, pork, squid, walnut, rice, and several unknow and best not known). We left full and well protected for the on-coming winter.

On the way home a vendor was selling a little rubberband launched whirlly bird. It had a little light on it and he shot it 40 feet into the air and it came down like a helicopter. This caught Lily and the boys eye and they wanted to get one (5 yuan - less than a dollar). We got five and found an open area and started launching them - we spent a hour just launching, catching and laughing at these whirly birds. Lily had a great time catching them and bringing them back to whoever was launching them. When we were done. Lily picked up the toy, pulled out the little plactic wrap that in came in, tucked it back into the wrap, handed it to me and said, "let's go". She grabbed Ruthi and my hand and we were off to the hotel.

Just sign here, and here, and here, ...

Tuesday December 20^th was Ruthi’s birthday.  Her best gift was signing all the documentation that officially made Lily our own.  There was a brief interview with questions like “why do you want to adopt”, “how many children do you have”, “do you have the means to support her”, “do you promise not to abandon her”.  The verbal exchange was followed by multiple documents to sign, each signature was followed by an ink thumb print over the signature – I guess that makes it more official.  My Sunday small group will appreciate the James  5:12 dilemma this presented me.  (Let your yes be yes …).

This was Lily’s last opportunity to see her teachers.  The picture includes two of the teachers from the orphanage.  Lily is sad in this picture.  She had just said goodbye to them and given them a hug.  After the picture we departed the office to get Lily’s passport.

Drew and Christian engaged Lily in a game of tic tac toe while we waited at the passport office.

Later Tuesday afternoon, Ruthi and Lily played a clapping game.  Lily has quite the rhythm.

Tuesday night we celebrated Ruthi’s birthday.  Lily did not comprehend “birthday” until we sang the Happy Birthday song.  She joined in on that and when we sang “happy birthday to mama”, she lit up.  I pulled out a gift we had brought from the states and asked Lily if she would like to give it to mama?  Lily smiled, took the package and walked it over to Ruthi.  It will be a while before Lily realizes that the package meant little in comparison to the presentation.

Meeting Lily

Monday December 19^th started early.  We left our hotel in Beijing at 5:30 and headed to the airport to catch a 7:45 flight to X’ian.  Having no “frequent flier status” on Hainan Airlines we were squarely in economy class and Christian’s view of flying took a radical turn from the upgrade he had experienced on the flight over.  It was a two hour flight to X’ian.  We met our guide “Rae”, and she took us to our hotel to check in.

X’ian is one of the oldest cities in China and was home to many emperors.  The drive from the airport to the hotel was riddled with mounds that were ancient burial tombs of the emperors and their families.  Later in the week we will go to the one of these tombs that is home to the Terra Cotta Soldiers.

Our appointment with the civil affairs office was scheduled for 4:00 so we had about 5 hours to kill before we would meet Lily.  Rae told us that Lily was from an orphanage about 200km away from X’ian in a remote mountainous area south of X’ian.  One of her teachers at the orphanage had driven her to X’ian this morning and she was in town waiting for the appointment.  It was strange walking around X’ian those five hours knowing that our little girl was in the same town waiting for the big meeting.

About 3:30 I gathered our family together in our hotel room and we all prayed together thanking God for bringing us to the point in our journey and asking Him to bless this meeting.  There was a peace and an excitement as Rae walked us down the block (walking down the block is too tame a description – think of walking ON Independence avenue, against traffic, at rush hour and you start to get the picture). We walked into a non-descript, government building and went up to the second floor.  We opened an office door and there stood Ling Sheia (Lily) with her teacher.  She was all bundled up in her winter coat and pensively looked us over.  We were introduced as mama, baba, and gege (mommy, daddy, and brothers).  We got down on our knees and gave her a hug, in my best Mandrain I said “Washur baba, wa I nee” (I am daddy, I love you). 

We brought a small backpack with some gifts for her.  We handed that to her and helped her open it up. She started to light up as she pulled out a coloring book, colored a few sections and then turned back to the back pack.  Pick-up sticks, a bag of cookies, a matching game, a doll, and a brush all came out one by one.  She opened the cookies and went around the room giving one to Ruthi, Drew, Christian, her teacher, and I before taking one for herself.  Drew and Christian showed her how to play various games while Ruthi and I attended to some paperwork.  Within an hour we were off to get some passport photo’s taken for Lily and then a quick shopping trip.  She quickly grabbed Ruthi and my hand as we walked the street of X’ian.  We felt blessed.

 
Back in the hotel room, Lily continued to play with Drew and Christian and was quickly introduced to “Harry” – a favorite puppet of Drew’s (Harry has a long history with our family).  Quite suddenly, Lily got quiet and started to cry. Ruthi held and consoled her but it was apparent she wanted to talk to her teacher.  She had a book with notes from her friends, teacher, orphanage director that she opened and pointed to the phone numbers.  We tried unsuccessfully to get a hold of her teacher.  We called Rae and she talked to her over the phone – I am not sure what she said but Lily responded and wiped away the tears.  Rae encouraged us to turn on the TV and find a Mandarin kid’s show and just hold her and watch it with her.  We found something and Lily slowly relaxed.  Ruthi was able to help her get a bath, which she seemed to enjoy.  She put on brand new pajama’s Ruthi had brought from home and she smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror.  She climbed into bed, Ruthi laid down next to her and they both fell asleep.   A long, special day comes to an end. 

Yesterday and today we spent time learning about Lily's country and culture through the sights and perspective of our Chinese guide, Sherry.  Sherry is quite entertaining and speaks very good Chinglish!  She has been leading adoption tours around China for about twelve years now and absolutely loves what she does.  I had the priviledge of coming to China a year and a half ago with several other Americans to work in an orphanage and we did a bit of sightseeing at that time, but it was wonderful to return to some of these places and have Sherry explain what we were seeing with details about Chinese history and traditions.  She has helped us gain a better understanding of the Chinese people, their lifestyles, the government's role in the lives of the people, their traditions,, views on family, money, all sorts of things.  Like pearl cream (it gets rid of wrinkles and the Chinese have been using it for years).  And dogs (you can't have a big dog in Beijing unless you live outside the 7th ring of the city. And the little ones require a 300 USD fee every year!).
 
Our sites have included the Forbidden City, Tienenman Square, the Great Wall, and the Summer Palace. We've learned how silk is made and how to distinguish between fake pearls and real and how they carve jade, checked out the Bird's nest, the water cube, and enjoyed some great Chinese food, of course. Christian has been mistaken by some Chinese girls for Justin Beiber and Drew roped into teenage girls' photographs on our adventures.  They both proved themselves to be real men (dragons!) today by making to the top of the Great Wall, which was a highlight for them. I think the highlight of the past two days for me was the worship service we attended this morning in Beijing.  Since there are now many foreigners in Beijing, the government allows them to meet together for worship.  The Biejing International Christian Fellowship rents out a theater and has a large group of believers that attend.  It was a beautiful reminder that the gift of Jesus is given for all peoplesl and some day we willl be united with Him in heaven, many nations but one Lord.

Well, on the way home from the Great Wall Christian said to me, "Mom, this is the last day you will be the mother of just five boys...Cherish it!" :)  We all got a great laugh out of it but truly, I have LOVED being a mother of five boys.  My heart is full and I feel so blessed. They are most wonderful young men I could ever have asked for.  The love that God has poured into our hears for each other over the years is now about to be extended into a little girl we have never met. Tomorrow is now a few hours away and with the signing of a paper, Lily will be ours. FOREVER!!! :)  I hope she likes brothers.